Let me tell you about something that has been bugging me for the past few days. It’s always been a bit of a sensitive spot for me, as I’ve seen an insane amount of my friends suffer through it. This, however, is one of the first times it has actually been focused towards me.
I am sick and tired of people condemning other people.
You know what I’m talking about. It’s the things people say, the way to act, and the way they look at you. I recently posted an article about a huge mistake I made and how I am striving to fix the damage I’ve done, not only to other people, but the damage inside of myself. This is something that is taking a lot of time to work through and is an extremely painful process. I am punishing myself daily, and my mind is not allowing me to see anything in a positive light at the moment. I keep on reminding myself that God has forgiven me and doesn’t look at me as anything other than a Child of God. But this is not something that is so easily understood. When you make a mistake as large as the one that I made, it makes it difficult to see yourself in this positive light.
Which is exactly why I don’t need anybody else to punish me.
Like I said before, I am punishing myself daily. So when other people who know what I’ve done see me around my college campus and say things to me or give me looks that are designed to tear me even further down, I get extremely upset, not only for myself but for the other people in the world that feel the exact same way every single day.
Depression is a serious, serious problem. People treat it lightly. People assume that anybody under the age of thirty who says they are depressed are simply being dramatic. This is not the case. Depression is a medical problem, a chemical imbalance in the brain. No matter what your age is, depression is a very serious problem.
For me personally, depression leads to self harm. To be more specific, I have struggled for many years with an addiction to cutting. It comes and goes in seasons, but when it comes it hits harder and harder every time. And recently, it has been consuming my entire life. Anytime the slightest thing goes wrong, thoughts of every mistake I’ve made recently flood my mind, haunting me until I can’t handle the pain and stress any longer and I grab the first sharp object I can find and cut into my arm. This is not something that I am proud of, and I am seeking help and going to counseling for this problem. This is, however, a result of the punishment that I mentally inflict upon myself.
So if I’m punishing myself to the point of cutting, wouldn’t you think that punishing me any further is probably an extremely bad idea?
People don’t think before they speak. It’s just how the human mind works. And it is, in reality, quite understandable for somebody to want me to know that they’re upset and why they are. They have a right to be angry with me and they have a right to their own opinion. But why is my sin and my mistake any worse than theirs?
The bible makes it very clear that God does not put rankings on sin. All sin is evil and worthy of condemnation to hell. Whether that’s murder, lying, or cheating on your boyfriend. No matter what wrong thing it is that we do, all of it makes us deserving of an eternity in hell. This is why God offers us salvation. None of us have the power on our own to overcome our sin and be in a relationship with God. The greatest gift we could ever ask for or imagine is the gift that was given in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Because of His death and resurrection, we are free from the bondage of our sin. We are made free from condemnation. We no longer have to spend an eternity in hell.
Romans 8:1 states, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
When I became a Christian, I was made perfect. I am holy and righteous. I am a saint.
So I ask you, if I am made perfect and have been set free from my sins, why would you contradict God and condemn me? If you want to be responsible for causing somebody to harm themselves, and potentially even take their own life, go ahead and condemn.
I’m not saying there is not a place for confronting someone in their sin. This is a biblical concept that should be done in an extremely loving way. I’m referring to people who already know and have confessed their sins, and are striving to get past them. This is where we as humans and we as believers need to improve.
If you are struggling with depression, self harm, or thought of suicide, please talk to a counselor, pastor, or trusted Christian friend.
Or feel free to call one of these numbers:
For cutting, call 1-800-366-8288
For suicide, call 1-800-273-8255
For depression, call 1-800-784-2433