I would like to address something that has come up quite a bit over the past several weeks. Nobody has in any way been malicious in asking me about it, but I just figured it would be easier to put it all out in the open and share my thoughts on it.
I have officially dropped out of college and moved to Nashville to pursue a career in music.
Man, that feels great to get off my chest. Now, for the details that explain a little of where I’m coming from.
During my sophomore year at Liberty University, my mom moved from Georgia where I had spent all of middle and high school to Tennessee, right outside of Nashville. This was fantastic news for me, as I was majoring in Artist Development in the School of Music and planned on pursuing a career as a Christian artist after college. It was great to have a plan set up where I would have a family to support me and be there for me while I pursued my dream.
Well, a lot has happened since then. I went to Alaska for an entire summer, where God began to work on me and show me that there were other options out there than the plan that I had mapped out for myself. The wheels in my head started to turn, and for the first time ever I thought, “Hm, maybe God doesn’t want me to have a career in music.”
Very shortly after returning from my Alaska adventure, I moved to Orlando to fulfill another dream of mine, which was to be in the Disney College Program. And while I was there, I fell absolutely in love with it. It took me a while, but over time I came to love my job, my coworkers, and the city. I was so happy. I thought, “Maybe I’m supposed to be here!”
But I knew that I wasn’t. God made it very clear to me that he still had other plans for me, and that they would be bigger and better than I ever dreamed possible.
I took a trip to Lynchburg for a few days, and I remember sitting with one of my best friends at dinner and telling him how concerned I was for my future. I told him that I feared my music ministry had already peaked, and that I was at a crossroads. God had given me a choice just a few days before. I could stay in Orlando, work at Disney, get married, and have a normal suburban life there in that city. My other option was a scarier one. It was to just go wherever God lead me. The Lord promised me that his plan was better, but that it would take absolute trust and faith for an outcome that I knew nothing of at all. My friend plead with me for over an hour to take the better outcome that God was promising. He implored me to see in myself the potential that he saw and God saw in me.
I chose God.
From there, I made what I thought was an incredible plan. I would move back to Lynchburg, go to cosmetology school, write and finally record my first album, and use my cosmetology certification for work until my artist career could sustain me on its own. It was the perfect plan. The only problem was that I didn’t ask God about it first.
Just a few weeks before ending my internship with Disney, my entire plan fell apart.
The money just wasn’t working out how I expected it to. I had already dropped out of Liberty completely, so returning for another semester was not an immediate option. Nothing was working out, and I had to come to the difficult decision to just move home. I was forced to move to Tennessee, because I had no money to be anywhere else. I was furious. I was depressed. I was anxious. I didn’t want to be here. This was the last thing I wanted. You would think it would be my dream, but I know that I’m not ready yet. I have no content to promote. I have no fan base. I have nothing to get noticed by in a city filled with literally thousands of people who want the same thing that I do. I found myself too afraid to even ask the obvious question of, “Why?”
Well, when I finally asked, the answer was quite simple.
God wants me to trust him. I don’t know why he has me here so soon. I don’t know why he’s put me somewhere where I’m so incredibly weak and vulnerable. But you know what? God has a habit of using the most unexpected person.
A few of my friends and I have all felt this stirring in our spirits for something the Lord is about to do in my life. Something huge. Even as I write about it, I have tears of excitement welling up in my eyes and my stomach is turning in knots in anticipation. I have no idea what it is, but it’s going to be amazing and it’s going to show his power in awe-inspiring ways. Everything that has lead me up to this point has served a purpose. I have been painstakingly trained on how to be silent, how to wait, how to be patient, and how to be content in my current circumstance. So until God reveals the next step, I will be doing just that. I will be here, seeking guidance and asking every day until he tells me what’s next.