It’s so interesting how life works. We make plans based off of how we can logically view our world, and then they are turned on their head in an instant. My blog post this week had already been written. It was another ministry update to talk about the new and exciting things that were taking place in my life. And then, in one swift phone call, everything changed.
I was going to tell you about the new job I was offered. A flexible schedule, very few working hours, very high paying position that was better than anything I could have imagined. I prayed for it. I prayed for God’s will. I believed He had told me that He wanted me to have it. It would have covered every bill and gone above and beyond what I desperately needed. All we were waiting on was a paper to sign and an official start date. I wrote my blog post and prepared for the start of my new life.
And then I received a phone call that turned MY plans on their head. They pulled the offer for the position.
The family I would have been working for changed their mind overnight. They went a “different direction” and left me with bills to pay and not enough funds to do it. I don’t blame them, they need to do what is best for their family and I would never want to force them into a place they did not want to be. They were loving and kind people, and I pray God blesses them immensely.
But my bills still need to be paid. I still have rent. I still need electricity. I still need food and a car. Life costs real money, and real money is difficult to come by.
When situations like this come up, we are faced with a painfully clear choice between still declaring Christ as Lord and will provide for our needs or giving up and taking matters into our own hands. It’s a split second decision that tests your faith and challenges the declarations you have already made. I think of countless times in the past that I would shout from the mountaintops that God was good, but the second something heavy happened it would become obvious that my heart truly wasn’t in that place.
My post is not here to brag that I now am in a place of surrender, but as an encouragement that you have the same opportunity. It doesn’t matter how you have reacted in the past or how you feel you’ve failed even today. When trials come (and boy, do they come) we have the free option of just trusting Him anyway. One of my pastors constantly quotes Psalm 119:68 and that our God is good and does only good. I have come to declare that every hour of my life. I remind myself that those words are true. He is good and knows more than I know. He will provide. I have no doubt. Even when life is not what we expect, He knew the plan thousands of years ago. If He knows, then I don’t need to. And I choose the option of faith.