I’ve gotten to a point that kind of makes no logical sense to me.
I have had decision upon decision upon decision that has led me to a financial point that I cannot get out of. I am broke. I am the definition of poor. Finances are nonexistent. My income is not enough for the bills I need to pay. I have applied to job after job for months, with no response from any employer. The interviews I’ve gone to have ended either with me not having the hours they needed to give me part-time work or not high enough pay to leave my current position for a new full-time job. The family that decided to hire me as a nanny decided three days later to retract their offer. I even received an email from a seasonal position with the Disney Store, telling me that they were looking at more “qualified” candidates. In case you didn’t know, my Disney College Program in a Merchandise role makes me the MOST qualified candidate. Nothing has made sense. And if you are under the impression that this is all merely coincidence, you are sadly mistaken.
To quote one of my pastors:
“So often our battles are being fought in the wrong way. For every visible, physical event we see happen in our lives (positive or negative) there is a spiritual counterpart we can’t see. When this happens, we cannot just respond in the physical realm with physical reactions. If we do not deal with the undercurrent of the spiritual, we will never see lasting change. Just because Satan is invisible does not mean he is fictional. “
- Alexis Tweddell
The email from the Disney Store was the final piece of evidence that confirmed the suspicion I had all along. There is a spiritual, negative force that is keeping employers from hiring me. If this sounds far-fetched, please understand that this makes clear strategic sense from an enemy standpoint. Why was I brought to Delaware? To bring glory to Christ and serve Him in the way that He asked me to. What is the enemy’s number one goal? To stop all glory to God at all costs. What do I need to stay in Delaware? Money and financial stability. Where is the enemy going to attack? My finances. If he can cut off my ministry at the core, he disables me from even being in the correct positioning to minister at all. It makes sense. It’s clever. And I am determined to fight it in with the only spiritual weapon that will actually work.
Here’s the deal. The thing we have the ability for that Satan is scared of the most is our prayers. He cannot stop them. He cannot come against that power they possess. I’ve seen it quoted before that prayer isn’t really for changing things, but for changing our own hearts. Let me call that out into the light, and inform you of how much bullcrap that is. Ephesians talks about putting on our spiritual armor, and tells us specifically to be in prayer AT ALL TIMES. Why would this be included with our battle equipment if it were not connected? Scripture even tells us specifically that prayer produces WONDERFUL RESULTS (James 5:16).
You may be wondering how all of this is relevant to you and your own life. The reality is that only God can reveal that to you. These truths are for everyone, and I have no doubt that the Holy Spirit will teach you with whatever He wants for your own circumstances. My purpose in posting this is for me to announce in the public square, to the enemy’s eyes and ears, that I have faith.
I. Have. Faith.
I will battle in prayer. I will silence Satan’s attempts to bring back the anxiety and depression that I have already been healed of. I will not back down, and I know beyond any doubt that my God WILL provide for me. He will supply everything I need. He will provide a new job that pays enough, or he will give me a second job that covers the lack of my current one, or he will supernaturally give me the funds that I need. I don’t know how, I just know that He will. I refuse to doubt, and I refuse to fall into the trap of uncertainty. Faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1). I have faith. And I wait in anticipation for the day coming very soon that I get to post what God has done to demolish this circumstance.