I have had a lot of people ask me why I haven’t written a blog post in so long. People text me or email me or ask me in person what I’m waiting on. Did I get too busy? Did I run out of things to say? The truth is, there are many reasons that I have not written, and will likely continue to be sporadic in my writing from this point forward. I have gone through a massive journey, one where God has been and continues to change my paradigms and beliefs at their very core. Who I believed two years ago to be the person of Jesus Christ has come to be shown as nothing more than a false image and disguise of the enemy. And what I have discovered to be the truth and reality of what God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are has left me feeling completely out of my element, yet right where I am supposed to be.
I look back on other things I have posted on this blog and find myself in awe of how I could have had such incorrect views of so many different things. While not everything I wrote was wrong, there were still to many things that did not have the Holy Spirit stamp of approval on them. I wrote about dealing with depression, but never went through what it would look like to let God take it over COMPLETELY. I spoke of rape and sexual assault, with no thought to how God truly changes our traumatic experiences to still show Himself as love and beauty and peace.
I have learned that I have so much left to learn. I’ve discovered that not all of the voices I hear are God. I have found myself clinging to the moving, breathing, and Holy Spirit revealed Word of God with everything I am. I can no longer trust what I believed to be God speaking to me without having the Scripture confirmation to back it up. I am believing more than ever before that love, the true love of Christ, is the only thing that holds our world together.
I still believe in the God of miracles, and supernatural, and signs and wonders. I still believe in spiritual gifts, and prophecy, and hearing audibly from the God of the universe. I still believe that miracles are not only for today, but are to be performed by HIS power by HIS people. None of this has changed. In fact, everything I have experienced has driven me even closer to the truth of these facts.
What has changed about this blog is that I refuse to write anything that has not been poured over in prayer, drenched in the truth of the Word of God, and given specifically by the Holy Spirit. While I do not condemn myself for it, I can’t help but think of all of the people who have been falsely “encouraged” by the things that I had believed I was rightfully teaching. I know that Christ covers our weaknesses and holds none of this against me. I am not responsible for the things that I did not know, but I am responsible for the knowledge that I have now.
I move forward with daily prayer that God give me wisdom. James 1 promises that asking for wisdom with an unwavering heart will be answered with the gift of understanding. I believe that God has given blog this as a platform for Him to speak, and I intend to allow Him to continue to do that. I give him full control of what is spoken here. It may not look like that you have seen from me in the past; in fact, I can guarantee that it won’t. But I do know that He will do wonderful things through it, if I am willing to not only write what He desires but allow myself to be taught by it as well.
I look forward to what He has in the future, and am setting up a precedent right now for Him to get the glory for every letter and punctuation.
Now, let’s start this new chapter.